


More Than Before

by Crazy_Dumpling



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-26
Updated: 2012-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 01:12:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Dumpling/pseuds/Crazy_Dumpling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most people confess their love with flowery poems on pretty paper and chocolate. Cho Kyuhyun, on the other hand, offers to be Kim Jongwoon's slave for an entire day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for the April mini-challenge [](http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**kink_bingo**](http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/) gift baskets. I used 3 kinks from the Prim and Proper set - service, obedience, virginity. This was my first time writing YeKyu/KyuSung, so most of the fic is me working out the dynamics of the relationship. Hopefully next time it will be less awkward. Contains light D/s elements and Kyuhyun finally becoming a man (that's the 'virginity' prompt). Set in some indeterminate period in the future, just before Jongwoon enlists.

Eight days before Jongwoon goes to the army enlistment centre, Kyuhyun decides that he’s wasted too much time acting like a coward. He screws up his courage, walks up to Jongwoon one night in Handel And Gretel when Jongjin is off serving customers and Jongwoon’s mother is talking to a friend. Jongwoon is counting receipts, his forehead furrowed and his bottom lip stuck out as he enters numbers into the computer terminal in front of him.

“Hyung?” Kyuhyun ventures, greatly daring. His heart is in his mouth; he can’t believe that he’s actually decided to go through with this, and that Jongwoon is going to _know_ that Kyuhyun’s been carrying this secret around in him for the last three years. Three years of wanting to say something, anything cleverer than ‘Hyung I really like you but not like a brother and pleasecanwetrygoingoutforadate’, and not finding the words. But _now_. Now is the time to do it. He takes a deep breath, hands over the paper bag he’s been clutching for the last hour and a half while he tried to work up the courage to actually come in here. “I — uh — I wanted to give you this. It’s a… kind of a going away present.”

“Oh?” Jongwoon looks up, curious. He takes the bag and begins to open it, but Kyuhyun reaches over the counter and grabs hold of his hand.

“Not here!” Kyuhyun manages to squeak out, his heart pounding rapidly. _Great_ , he thinks. _You’re supposed to be the super cool, super snarky maknae, aren’t you? What the hell are you doing freaking out like this?_ He changes his tone, tries to sound a little more grown-up and not quite so on edge. “I mean. I wanted you to open it in private, hyung. When you get a moment.”

“That won’t be for a while,” Jongwoon says, gesturing at his pile of receipts. “What’s up with you, huh? You look as though you just heard your Starcraft account got suspended or something.”

No, Kyuhyun thinks. If that ever happened he’d be an inconsolable, sobbing wreck somewhere. This is slightly different.

“Just, uh. Open the present when you can.”

Kyuhyun tries a smile. Jongwoon returns it, the corners of his eyes creasing. He looks so tired, Kyuhyun thinks. Jongwoon’s been putting in extra hours at both his parents’ businesses, trying to drum up as much support as he can before he leaves for his national service training. He’s also been helping Jungsoo out with various promotion appearances and TV show tapings. Kyuhyun’s had his own schedule, of course, so it’s the first time in over three weeks he’s managed to have more than ten minutes with Jongwoon.

“I’m really curious now,” Jongwoon teases, reaching out and nudging Kyuhyun’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t tease me like that, Kyu. Come on, tell me what’s in here.”

 _You shouldn’t be so clueless about shit, hyung._ Kyuhyun doesn’t say it out loud, of course. But he wishes he could. He’s so confident with just about every other aspect of his life. He knows the right words to get a crowd of fans cheering and laughing and screaming his name, and he knows how to conduct himself on variety shows. He can make fun of comedians and sing ballads to make fangirls cry.

But he can’t find the right words at this moment.

“Ah, come on, hyung.” Kyuhyun makes his voice a touch higher. It’s his best aegyo move, one that he’s quite proud of. It gets most of the other members’ attention and usually means that he gets whatever he wants. “It’s a secret, OK?”

Jongwoon quirks an eyebrow at him, obviously amused. “I get the feeling you’re up to something, Cho Kyuhyun. What if I said you _had_ to tell me?”

The way he looks at Kyuhyun, it’s as if he can see right through Kyuhyun’s fumbling attempts at subterfuge. Those dark eyes fix Kyuhyun, weighing him up, considering. Awareness jabs at Kyuhyun’s belly.

“I would tell you, if you really wanted to know, I guess.” The words leave his mouth before Kyuhyun can think of any number of smart retorts. He shakes himself mentally. “But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it, hyung? Not knowing?”

He gets an agreeing hum in response. 

“So I open this when I’m alone,” Jongwoon shakes the bag and they both hear the knocking of plastic against wood and the slight jangling of a key. “Interesting, Kyu. Did you leave me a treasure map as well?”

Sudden laughter bubbles up in Kyuhyun’s chest. He wants to let it out so badly. “Something like that.”

Jongwoon begins to lean forward and looks as though he wants to ask Kyuhyun another question, but before he can, Jongjin stalks over. A customer wants an autograph and she won’t leave till she gets one and she’s bigger than Jongjin, bro.

“Fine,” Jongwoon mutters. He casts Kyuhyun a look loaded with fatigue. “I’ll try and get round to your present tonight, OK, Kyu? We’re just a little tied up here.”

Kyuhyun’s heart sinks, but the smile on his face doesn’t waver. He watches as Jongwoon sets aside his stack of receipts and walks over to the service counter, where a fan in a pink parka jumps up and down in glee.

“Call me when you can, hyung.”

And that’s it. He’s started something. Now he’ll have to see if he can finish it.

***

For some reason, Kyuhyun doesn’t really expect Jongwoon to actually call him after he’s opened the package. It’s silly, but after so many years of thinking and fantasising and useless planning that never seemed to lead anywhere, Kyuhyun’s just used to being disappointed where Jongwoon is concerned. Especially now, when he’s gone ahead with a plan so silly and childish it now hardly seems worthy of the hours he spent making Jongwoon’s present.

He’s surfing the internet on his laptop later that evening, munching on some cookies Ryeowook left for him on the dorm dining table, trying to enjoy the latest professional Starcraft match videos and generally trying not to think about how he jumped the gun and declared his hand to Jongwoon before he was ready. 

_But if not now, then when?_

The question irritates Kyuhyun more than it reassures. He scowls and jabs at the volume dial on his headphones. Watches with grim satisfaction as some rookie from Singapore gets his ass handed to him by one of the professionals from Taiwan. Huh. The guy totally left himself open to a surprise attack like that, leaving his base so unprotected while he tried raiding the other players’ barracks. If it were him — 

Kyuhyun’s phone jumps to life all of a sudden, vibrating its way across the battered desk and scattering cookie crumbs in its wake. He chances a look a the caller display and his heart jumps into his mouth.

Jongwoon. Of course it would be Jongwoon.

Uncertainty claws at Kyuhyun, but he accepts the call anyway.

“Uh. Hi, hyung.”

Kyuhyun can hear the distant hum of voices in the background on Jongwoon’s end of the line.

“You know, people usually send a letter confessing their innermost thoughts and feelings. I expected flowery notepaper and a poem, at least. Definitely not your little gift bag.”

Jongwoon chuckles, and Kyuhyun can picture the indulgent smile on his face. It makes him wish he was with Jongwoon right now, trying to tell him everything he can’t quite seem to articulate eloquently enough every time he tries.

“Ah, I’m not most people, hyung.”

He doesn’t mean it as a joke, but Jongwoon laughs even harder.

“No. No, you aren’t, Kyu. That’s what I like about you.”

Kyuhyun tries not to hope for too much. “You like me, hyung?”

“Aren’t I calling you?” Jongwoon’s voice sounds so deliciously husky. Kyuhyun swallows. “Don’t you think I wouldn’t have bothered if I didn’t like your gift?”

“Well…” Kyuhyun fiddles with his mouse and closes the browser window with the Starcraft match. “You could be just be acting polite, I guess. I get that it’s not really the sort of thing fans give you, but I thought there wasn’t much time left, and I’m not that good with writing about my feelings like Donghae-hyung is when he’s writing lyrics… ”

“I love it,” Jongwoon says quietly, interrupting Kyuhyun’s rambling. “I can see how much time it’s taken you, Kyu. I just wish — well. I suppose it’s my fault too, isn’t it… I wish I’d known about this earlier. It would have saved us a lot of time.”

For someone who prides himself on his lightning-fast reactions during computer games, and who wields an unparalleled ability amongst the Super Junior members to solve mathematical problems, Kyuhyun’s finding it hard to process what Jongwoon is saying.

“Hyung?” He asks, feeling as though he’s trying to work out a particularly tricky quadratic equation. Things have to balance first, and then manipulated properly to achieve the required result. Kyuhyun feels decidedly off-balance.

Jongwoon snorts.

“For a genius, Kyu, you’re pretty dense.”

There’s a pause as Kyuhyun tries to comprehend the enormity of what’s happening. “Uh…”

“Yes, you idiot,” Jongwoon says. “Yes, you’ve been more than a dongsaeng to me for quite a long time, Cho Kyuhyun. Now let’s do something about it and stop dicking around pretending like we don’t know what’s going on. We don’t have that much time left.”

Kyuhyun wants to jump right out of his seat and scream straight away, but he manages to keep himself calm somehow.

“Jongwoon-hyung,” he starts, about to list the reasons why he’s finally taken the first step. And then Kyuhyun realises it doesn’t matter. “So, you’ll use the gift, then?”

“Yes,” Jongwoon breathes. The way he says it makes Kyuhyun flush with anticipation. “I’ll start tomorrow, if you’re feeling ready.”

“Of course, I’ve arranged everything for you, haven’t I? Just give me the stuff back as early in the morning as you can,” Kyuhyun replies, and hangs up. For fifteen minutes afterwards, he does nothing but stare blankly at his laptop screen as the enormity of what has just transpired hits him. 

_Oh,_ he thinks. _Oh, shit._

***

The next day, Kyuhyun is awake a full half an hour before his alarm goes off. That in itself, he supposes, is some kind of minor miracle. He lies in his bed, awareness slowly bleeding into him with the morning sunlight. 

What happened last night still feels like parts of a crazy dream, and yet he can’t help the feeling of anticipation that something profoundly life-changing will happen today. All because he finally decided enough was enough, that Jongwoon was worth more of an effort, and whatever this attraction between the two of them is, it demanded more than just what-if scenarios played out at the end of a long day with a box of tissues close at hand.

Kyuhyun eventually manages to get himself out of bed, too awake now to go back to sleep. Anyway Sungmin is snoring his head off and it makes Kyuhyun want to throw a pillow at his roommate’s head. Which would probably lead to Sungmin putting him in some kind of kung fu headlock, and that really isn’t the way to begin today, of all days.

He slumps into the kitchen and watches Ryeowook prepare breakfast instead, tapping his foot nervously against the leg of the battered dining table and pretending to read the newspaper but never getting past the headlines on the front page.

“Something on your mind?” Ryeowook asks, stirring something in a pot. “You’ve been staring so hard at that newspaper it’s as though you’re trying to see whether you can kill it with your brain.”

“Ha ha,” Kyuhyun mutters. He sips at the mug of tea Ryeowook sets in front of him. “It’s nothing. I was uh… just checking the headlines today. You know, Siwon-hyung always takes such an interest in his American newspapers I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see what’s going on in the world.”

“Hmm.” Ryeowook spoons noodles into two bowls and passes one to Kyuhyun. He switches off the hob and takes a seat opposite. “That’s reasonable, I suppose. But you’re reading the paper from two days ago, Kyu.”

Startled, Kyuhyun checks the date. Ryeowook’s right. Of course he is. Ryeowook’s always right. He shoves the paper away and concentrates on eating his breakfast. Thankfully, Ryeowook doesn’t push him for an explanation, which is strange, since Ryeowook can be the nosiest little bastard in the dorms, but Kyuhyun decides not to push his luck.

They finish their meal in silence. Kyuhyun washes up, since Ryeowook cooked, and as he’s stacking bowls to dry, Ryeowook casually drops an envelope on the table.

“By the way,” he drawls, lips lifting in a mocking smile. “Jongwoon-hyung left this for you just now. Said you’d know what it was about.”

Kyuhyun turns off the tap and tries not to snatch the envelope up right away. No need to let Ryeowook know how edgy he’s been waiting for that to show up. Not that Ryeowook wouldn’t have noticed anyway.

“It’s something kinky isn’t it?” Ryeowook asks, when Kyuhyun finally picks the envelope up in as casual a manner as he can manage. “Ha! Look at your face! I know it is, now. It’s about time, Kyu. I thought you two were going to keep playing blushing virgins for the rest of your lives.”

“Don’t you have things to do, Wookie?” Kyuhyun tucks the envelope safely in the pocket of his pyjama pants. “Run errands? Call one of your minions? Collect interesting skincare stories for your radio programme?”

Ryeowook clicks his tongue. “No need to get so touchy! I _was_ trying to congratulate you on working up the nerve, you know. Trying to be nice.”

He laughs at the look Kyuhyun shoots him. “Yeah, I knew it was you who moved first. If it were Jongwoon you two would be at some love hotel right now with bad hangovers and hickeys _everywhere_. Jungsoo-hyung would be furious.”

The fact that Ryeowook says all this was an air of authority is less surprising than Kyuhyun thought it would be. Also, the image of Jongwoon taking him in a seedy hotel room shouldn’t be quite so exciting. He tries to think of something less arousing and starts to recite mathematical formulas in his head.

“Here’s a tip for free,” Ryeowook says, as they prepare to go off to their individual schedules. “Mind you don’t scream too loudly when he fucks you. It plays havoc with your voice the next day. Imagine having to cancel your musical performance just because Jongwoon was a bit too rough with you when he finally managed to get your clothes off. Goodness knows the rest of us have been making bets about when that would be.”

Kyuhyun’s had about enough. “Ah, Wookie. Go fuck yourself, OK?”

Ryeowook’s laughter rings in his ears as Kyuhyun darts into the bathroom for some small amount of sanctuary.

The door shuts behind him, cutting off the hooting sound that Ryeowook makes whenever he finds something particularly funny. Kyuhyun locks the door, just to be sure, then opens the envelope with shaky hands.

It’s plain and nondescript, almost innocent in appearance. But Kyuhyun knows what’s hidden inside is much more exciting than any hastily-scribbled letter, because he designed the whole damn thing. He pulls out a small square of paper, folded over to protect the smaller bit of card inside.

There it is. His heart thumping wildly, Kyuhyun removes the card and looks at it. It had seemed like such a stupid, cliched idea when he first thought of finding some way to confess his feelings to Jongwoon. Something out of a badly-written drama, something to be laughed at and mocked, but never actually put into practice. 

A book of coupons for various favours. It had seemed so twee when Kyuhyun had first spotted the novelty chequebook at a tacky gift shop in Ilsan, when the whole talent roster of the company had participated some kind of promotion which he can’t fully recall. He’d gone shopping after the concert with Minho and Changmin and they’d laughed at the wide range of rubbish that the store sold. Minho had bought over-sized sunglasses to take bad photos with, and Changmin had pointed and laughed at the store’s small collection of plastic snow-globes before bringing the chequebook over to Kyuhyun.

“Look!” He said, flipping through it. “Can you imagine anyone actually using shit like this? ‘One free backrub’, ‘one night of passion’, ‘a romantic picnic for two’ — Yunho would love leaving these things all over our dorm room! Can’t believe people spend money on this sort of crap…”

Kyuhyun had laughed, of course, but the thought of using coupons to represent various services and special acts held an appeal that he didn’t immediately dismiss. As they weeks and months dragged on, and Kyuhyun still couldn’t find the words to tell Jongwoon about how he wished they could just skip the awkward first few dates and get right to the part where they fucked each other’s brains out, the little chequebook suddenly became a lot more feasible as a possible solution to Kyuhyun’s dilemma. But there was no way in hell he’d let the public find out that Kyuhyun from Super Junior was so out of ideas regarding his love life he’d resorted to buying stupid little novelty chequebooks.

So he’d made his own, of course. Only they weren’t the obscenely large pieces of paper decorated with badly-drawn cupids and hearts that he’d seen in the Ilsan gift shop. Kyuhyun designed a small, tasteful, booklet of about ten coupons that could fit easily in Jongwoon’s pocket. The favours inside it are arranged carefully. They begin with the fairly mild _I promise to give you a hug whenever this coupon is presented_ , increase in intensity to _I promise to treat you to dinner at a reasonably-priced restaurant of your choosing_ , and end with _I promise to be your slave for an entire day_ (Kyuhyun’s personal favourite and one that still sends a thrill of excitement down his spine).

He’d handed the coupon book, along with a hotel room key and a small carved wooden tortoise keychain, to Jongwoon last night, after three months of working on crafting the perfect gift. And now he has Jongwoon’s reply in his hands. Well, he should have expected it. Everything still feels a bit unreal.

Time to man up. Kyuhyun takes a deep breath and unfolds the bit of card. Two coupons stare back at him.

Oh. Jongwoon has selected two for tonight. Kyuhyun supposes that’s all right. He never attached any rules to how the coupons could be used in the first place, so it’s not like he can renege now. Not that he wants to. 

He reads the one on top first. It’s fairly innocuous, as far as the coupons go. _I promise to give you one kiss on presentation of this coupon._ Kyuhyun likes the thought of kissing Jongwoon — it’s an image that he’s replayed in his head thousands of times before. He’s thought of the various ways he could do it, too; light and tender, soft and shy, or passionate and demanding. Probably variations on all of the above, if he can control himself.

So far, so good. He can deal with _kissing_. It’s not as though he hasn’t kissed before, though it’s probably been a while since his last good kiss. Kyuhyun can’t even remember when that was. Possibly last year when they were in Taiwan with Zhou Mi and Henry, and Ryeowook had dragged him out to some seedy bar where he’d started talking to a nice girl from Taipei. He’d forgot her name as soon as they’d left the bar, but her lips had been a sweet enough distraction.

Anyway. This is much more important than some drunken kiss in a Taiwanese nightclub with some girl he can’t really remember.

Kyuhyun slips the coupon into his pocket and unfolds the other one. His eyes widen as he reads what’s written inside.

_I promise to be your obedient slave for an entire twenty-four hours, or for any shorter period of your choosing._

Jongwoon has scribbled something on the back of the coupon. Kyuhyun has to squint to read the scrawl.

_Let’s see how well you do, Kyu._

He’s left a time for Kyuhyun to meet him at the hotel room that’s already been booked for tonight. Sure, Kyuhyun had to slip the manager a few hundred thousand won extra to let him have the keys so far in advance, but Kyuhyun wanted this night to be perfect. 

Kyuhyun also didn’t expect for Jongwoon to leap straight to the kinkiest coupon in the book. Especially not after the almost-chaste flavour of the first. Excitement mixes with disbelief in the pit of his stomach. The meeting time Jongwoon’s chosen means he’s going to have to cut it very fine with his musical performance tonight. He’ll probably have to dash off right after the curtain call. But that’s probably what Jongwoon wants; to make sure Kyuhyun doesn’t have time to become comfortable and confident. Maybe he wants Kyuhyun less cocky and more unsure of himself.

Despite pretending to be the bullying maknae of Super Junior, Kyuhyun has always buried his insecurities deep within himself, brazening out any awkward situation with a well-aimed observation or a cutting remark if he feels things aren’t going his way. Most of the members know how much of a front he puts on for the cameras and the fans, but none of them have really seen Kyuhyun at his most vulnerable.

None of them except Jongwoon, that is.

Kyuhyun can still remember the aftermath of the car accident all those years ago. He still remembers Jongwoon’s steady presence beside his bed, and that low, soothing voice talking to him, telling him what was going on back in the dorms, never needing an answer but just always being a constant support as Kyuhyun groped his way back to the land of the living. Kyuhyun thinks he fell in love with Jongwoon then, but he can’t be sure when platonic brotherly affection bled and shifted into an intense yearning to _have_ Jongwoon.

He hates being unsure of anything else, but he loves the way Jongwoon makes him confused, even though it drives him out of his mind with frustration. Kyuhyun adores the way Jongwoon catches hold of his hand when he thinks Kyuhyun is nervous or feeling a little depressed. He likes how Jongwoon offers him tips in the recording studio when they’re laying down vocals for another track, and the way their voices blend together, both contrasting and complementary, while Ryeowook soars above them. And Kyuhyun loves that Jongwoon is always _there_ when he needs to talk and be reassured that what he’s given up for Super Junior has been worth all the sacrifices they’ve made. 

Jongwoon is the perfect hyung, Kyuhyun thinks. Which is why he used to be jealous of Jongjin and the bond that the two share, until he realised he didn’t want Jongwoon just as a brother. And when Kyuhyun wants something, he usually makes plans to ensure that he gets it. Only now, he’s been told to give up one of the things he prizes the most; his independence. He will be Jongwoon’s to direct and command, for at least a day.

The realisation of what he has promised hits Kyuhyun and sparks another little twist of anticipation. He wants this; wants to be taken control of and told what to do to please Jongwoon. He wants Jongwoon to dictate every action to him, and he trusts that Jongwoon will know exactly what to do.

Since he was in kindergarten, Kyuhyun’s always been living his life on his own terms. Anytime he’s come up against opposition, he’s usually managed to overcome it by sheer hard work and a stubborn refusal to let anything bend his will. It’s one of the reasons he’s been so successful, both on his own, and as part of the group.

For the few hours, though, he’s going to be giving that independence up. He looks at himself in the bathroom mirror and notices how his cheeks are now tinged the faintest shade of red. Then he thinks suddenly of Jongwoon bending him over this sink and taking him roughly, right in front of the mirror, the image of their love-making reflected back at them. Kyuhyun grips the edge of the sink hard, letting the cool, wet porcelain bring him back to his senses. 

_Getting ahead of yourself, aren’t you, Cho? How about we get through the rest of the fucking day first, huh?_

With a scowl, Kyuhyun gathers up the bits of paper and the two coupons, folds them back into the envelope. He looks at his watch. It’s nine o’clock now. He won’t be seeing Jongwoon for almost another twelve hours and he’s got the rest of his life to get on with. 

Time to stop indulging in more wishful thinking. This time, this time is going to be different. This time he’s actually done something about his stupid fantasies. Tonight, for better or worse, he’s about to finally see whether reality matches up to his fevered imagination.

Kyuhyun can’t decide whether he feels happy about this, or just scared out of his mind. 

Just as he’s reaching for the doorknob, his phone beeps to let him know he’s got a text. Without thinking, Kyuhyun reaches for it and thumbs open the message.

It’s from Jongwoon, so of course Kyuhyun’s heart suddenly decides to start beating as though he’s just run a marathon.

 _Did you get the envelope?_

Kyuhyun sends a quick text in return to let Jongwoon know that Ryeowook delivered the envelope safely. He resists the urge to tell Jongwoon not to pass any future messages through such a gossipy intermediary. No need to start things off on the wrong foot today. Kyuhyun taps his feet as he waits for a reply, going through the dance routine for Sorry Sorry in his head. Odd to think that it’s been almost three years since that album. It seems like it was only yesterday. But then again, it feels as though he’s been trying to tell Jongwoon how he feels for centuries.

Another beep.

 _Good,_ Jongwoon’s text reads. _Await further instructions throughout the day. I want to make sure you deliver on what you promised me._

Kyuhyun’s mouth goes dry. He knew what he was offering, of course, and he knew there was a strong possibility that Jongwoon could come up with any number of perverted things for him to do as part of the slave for the day deal, but not knowing when Jongwoon’s instructions will come, or what they would actually be, is daunting. Kyuhyun likes for things to be controllable, and for all variants to be taken into account and calculated. The only time he’s ever felt out of control, he was in a hospital bed and hooked up to too many machines that monitored every single one of his bodily functions.

Jongwoon knows all this. Kyuhyun is sure of it. They’d discussed the accident after a long night of drinking a few years back, when the rest of the members were asleep and Kyuhyun had needed someone to talk to because alcohol made him feel too melancholy to go to bed. Jongwoon had listened as Kyuhyun recounted feeling vulnerable and alone during his hospital stay, frightened that his voice would never come back, that his dream was shattered forever. Kyuhyun hadn’t realised he was crying until Jongwoon’s hand cradled his chin and his thumb brushed away some of the tears streaming down Kyuhyun’s cheek.

“Hey,” Jongwoon said. “Don’t do this to yourself, Kyu. You’re here now, OK? You got better. Everything’s fine now. Everyone’s here. I’m not leaving you.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t find the words to express how grateful he was for Jongwoon’s steady presence in his life. So he took Jongwoon’s hand in his, twisted their fingers together, hoped the other man understood what he was trying to say without words.

He stares at his phone now, willing another text to come through, but it stays resolutely silent in his hands. Jongwoon isn’t going to reveal all his plans right now.

Fine. Whatever. He can wait. Kyuhyun sticks his tongue out, pockets the phone.

“Hey — who’s in there for so long?” Hyukjae sounds irritated on the other side of the door. “Are you taking a dump or something?? Swear to God, if I get in there and it stinks, I’ll leave my socks from dance practice in your bed.”

There’s no way Kyuhyun’s going to let that happen. He yanks open the door and pushes past Hyukjae.

“Good morning to you too, Sunshine,” Hyukjae mutters. “Hey, did you use the air freshener in there, Kyu?”

Kyuhyun flings him the finger. After that little moment to himself in the bathroom, he’s now late for his first schedule of the day, and his manager is probably already waiting downstairs with the car and a harsh talk about being considerate with other peoples’ time.

The way things are going, Kyuhyun doesn’t really mind.

***

Jongwoon’s first instruction comes in the middle of an interview Kyuhyun’s doing with some Japanese magazine. He’s answering a question about his perfect woman for what feels like the billionth time, and is wondering if he can fit it something about preferring women with blue hair, when he feels the phone in his pocket vibrate. It cuts him off mid-sentence, and he frowns at this loss in concentration.

“You were saying?” The journalist asks through the translator. “Something about hair colour? Maybe you can tell us what colour hair you prefer on girls?”

“Uh,” Kyuhyun starts, clutching at straws. “Multi-coloured streaks in their hair?”

The journalist looks doubtful, as if she doesn’t trust the translation provided. Kyuhyun’s manager just looks like he’s constipated. Kyuhyun tries a smile and answers the next five questions properly, turning on his snarky maknae persona when he’s asked about the other members. Mercifully, the questions are all fairly standard and Kyuhyun gives the same old answers he’s used so many times before.

Finally, blessedly, the interview is over. Kyuhyun escapes the wrathful glare of his manager while he runs to a quiet corner to check his messages before he gets called away for the subsequent photoshoot. He’s seen the outfits the stylists have laid out for him; a long black trench coat and white ruffled shirt over sleek leather trousers and thigh-high boots. Some kind of urban vampire concept. At least he’s not wearing a silly hat.

_Your first task for today: be nice to everyone at that interview, Kyu. I mean everyone, even the guy who gets you coffee. Don’t refuse any requests or be difficult. Don’t try and be adorable just so people give in to you. Especially during the photoshoot. I know how much you hate those. Call me when you’re done._

Resisting the urge to pout, Kyuhyun tucks the phone away in his backpack. The stylist is already looking for him, and by the sounds of it, they’re thinking of glossing his eyes with dark shadow and using massive amounts of liner. Kyuhyun hates any eye makeup that’s heavier than a single line of kohl. It irritates his eyes and turns them red. Usually he kicks up a huge stink and makes his manager promise to buy him all his favourite snacks as a compromise.

But Jongwoon wants him to be meek and compliant today. No blackmailing, and definitely no acting cute to get his way. Kyuhyun exhales noisily through his mouth. He supposes it could have been worse. Jongwoon could have asked him to buy coffee for every member of staff here, for instance.

Plastering a wide smile on his face, Kyuhyun troops off to the arms of the stylist, who’s already waiting with a huge pot of kohl and a tube of mascara. It’s going to be a very long photoshoot.

Afterwards, while he’s rubbing his eyes to clean the last bits of eye makeup off, Kyuhyun remembers that he’s supposed to call Jongwoon. With all the chaos of the photoshoot (they’d asked him to pose under a sprinkler to simulate him waiting in some dark Tokyo alley for his next victim), he’s almost forgotten. Kyuhyun wants to hit himself for nearly letting that slip his mind.

He rings Jongwoon with hands that only shake slightly. The phone rings five times without an answer, and Kyuhyun fights in the growing panic inside him. _Keep calm_ he tells himself, _maybe he’s in the middle of a recording._

The thought of Jongwoon abandoning him, though, doesn’t go away. Not immediately. Eventually the call connects, and Kyuhyun breathes a sigh of relief.

“How did it go?” Jongwoon asks, his voice melodious and assured as usual. Kyuhyun lets it wash over him and feels a bit calmer. “Did you do what I asked you to?”

“Of course.” As if he could do anything else.

“Good.” There’s a definite tone of authority in Jongwoon’s voice. Kyuhyun tries not to think about how it makes something in his chest flutter, because he likes the thought of Jongwoon being in control so much it borders on unhealthy. “What’s your next acitivity?”

“Just rehearsals for the musical, hyung.” 

“Hmm,” there is a pause and Kyuhyun holds his breath so long his chest starts to ache. “OK. Here’s what we’ll do, Kyu. Go to your rehearsals and get ready for your performance like you do every night. Only this time, when you get a free moment, I want you to call me.”

“Call you —?” Kyuhyun’s confused. “Hyung I don’t understand why…”

“Is there a need for you to understand?” Jongwoon voice is quiet, but the way he’s talking, he might as well be shouting at Kyuhyun to shut up and pay attention. “I thought you agreed to be a good boy for me, Cho Kyuhyun. That includes you not asking stupid questions, or haven’t I made myself clear?”

Kyuhyun tries to repress a shiver of excitement.

“Yes, hyung.”

Jongwoon clicks his tongue. “Perhaps I should ask you to do something less complicated, then. You think you won’t get a chance to call me during your break?”

“Well…” Thing is, it _is_ kind of rushed for Kyuhyun in between trying to work out little last minute details at the rehearsals, going off for dinner, and then making sure he’s back to the dressing rooms for hair and makeup before the show. But Kyuhyun doesn’t like saying no to challenges. Especially not when they’re being set by Jongwoon. “It’s a bit tight, but I’ll do it for you, hyung.”

“Yes, you will.” Jongwoon’s voice gets even huskier. It calls to mind dark, sweet molasses and Kyuhyun thinks of how long he’s been jerking off to the sound of Jongwoon singing songs about lost love with that voice of his. “And when you call, Kyu, you’re going to tell me the answers to whatever I ask you truthfully. No trying to dodge questions or give me false information. I’ll know if you lie.”

Again, the threat Jongwoon makes is more arousing than intimidating. Kyuhyun agrees hastily, too anxious of time becoming short and the possibility of his manager overhearing part of this conversation.

Then, Jongwoon switches tack completely.

“I can’t wait to see you tonight, Kyu,” he says, sounding much more like his usual self. Kyuhyun doesn’t really care, but it is a bit of a disconnect from the more authoritative Jongwoon he’s been listening to. “You’re going to love what I have planned.”

So many possibilities leap to Kyuhyun’s mind as to what Jongwoon means that he is seriously tempted to suggest blowing off the rest of the day and heading to the hotel straight away. But he is a professional (sadly), and he’s got a job to do. Also, his manager would likely skin him alive if he tried to get out of the musical performance tonight. Seats have been sold out three weeks in advance.

“I’ll see you later, hyung.”

“You will,” Jongwoon promises. “Be a good boy for me.”

Kyuhyun barely suppresses a moan as he hangs up. Not for the first time he wonders if he’s bitten off more than he can chew by offering Jongwoon such complete control over his life, but he’s certainly not complaining. He relishes the thought of being Jongwoon’s to command more than he thought he would, and the idea of reporting to Jongwoon throughout the rest of the day is certainly not without appeal.

“Ready to go?” His manager asks later, when Kyuhyun gets into the car that’s to take them to the theatre where Kyuhyun’s musical is being staged. “You took your time. And look! Your face is all red, too. Tch. Probably ran all the way here, right?”

He clicks his tongue and starts off on another one of his long-winded talks that have to do with Kyuhyun learning to take better care of his body and to make sure he doesn’t tire himself out. Fans expect him to look flawless and pristine all the time, not over-heated and panting.

Kyuhyun nods absent-mindedly, his thoughts decidedly not very pristine at all. And the less said about panting, the better. He digs his nails into his palm and stares straight ahead at the road in front of them as the street lights begin to flicker on.

***

The pre-show rehearsal is uneventful; just a run-through of everything from dance routines to discussing the blocking for certain scenes, but Kyuhyun is grateful for the opportunity it gives him to calm himself down a bit. Going through the same motions he’s already done a dozen times before means he can concentrate on honing his performance to perfection, instead of worrying about whether the expression on his face is believable enough, or whether his voice will crack on an especially high note.

The dance routines for this show are considerably more intense than he’s normally accustomed too, as well. Kyuhyun focuses on hitting each of his marks and making sure he’s still got enough in him to belt out a song after a triple turn on the spot. 

Because he’s been working so hard on getting things right during the rehearsal, Kyuhyun doesn’t have time to think about his phone call with Jongwoon. He only remembers when the director eventually calls a time out and lets them off for an early dinner. One of his cast-mates, a pretty girl with short green hair, asks if he’d like to try out this bulgogi place around the corner with her and her friends, but Kyuhyun finds a way to decline politely. He flashes her his widest smile, and hopes she finds it genuine, before hurrying away.

He’s got about half an hour before he needs to be backstage to get his makeup and costume put on and his mic rigged up, so Kyuhyun darts into his dressing room with a packet of kimbap and a bottle of water to make it look as though he’s going to have dinner on his own. After making sure that the door is locked, Kyuhyun dials Jongwoon’s number again.

“Running a little late?” Jongwoon asks, when he picks up. This time it’s only taken Kyuhyun two rings. He tells himself this can only be a good sign.

“Yeah. The director wanted to make sure we’re all in harmony for the final song,” Kyuhyun plays with the cap on his bottle of water and stares at himself in the mirror. “So we’ve only got about thirty minutes before I have to go back in and be professional musical actor Kyu.”

“That’s enough time.” Jongwoon clears his throat. 

Kyuhyun sips some water, trying not to feel too nervous. He begins to tap his left foot.

“So, this is how it’s going to go, Kyu. I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I need you to tell me the first answer that pops into your head. I want you to be as honest as you can, and don’t even think of feeding me things you think I might want to hear.”

“I can do that,” Kyuhyun says, half believing himself. 

“Good, then let’s start. Are you feeling nervous?”

“A little,” Kyuhyun confesses, feeling ready to leap out of his skin.

“Don’t be.” Jongwoon sounds far too assured to convince Kyuhyun not to worry. “The first question is quite easy, at least. What are you wearing?”

“Um…” He wasn’t expecting this. Kyuhyun doesn’t know what he thought Jongwoon would ask him first, but he’s fairly sure the old phone sex opening wasn’t going to be part of the deal. But whatever. He looks down at himself. “Just an old sweatshirt and my track pants. I had a cap when I came in just now but I’ve taken it off.”

He’s sweating a little after the exertion of dancing, too, but Jongwoon doesn’t need to know that. At least not right away.

Jongwoon makes an appreciative noise. 

“That’s a nice visual.”

The way he says it is halfway between a purr and a growl and it has the effect of jerking Kyuhyun out of his post-rehearsal stupor. Kyuhyun leans forward in his seat, watching himself in the dressing room mirror. He bites his lip, waits for Jongwoon’s next question.

He isn’t ready for what comes at him next.

“Tell me, Kyu: am I your first?”

Kyuhyun doesn’t quite know how to answer that. Not immediately. He thinks of all the men and women he’s kissed over the years and realises he can count them easily on the fingers of one hand. It’s not as though he hasn’t been interested, it’s just that in between trying to be part of an idol band, and developing his own solo career, there just haven’t been that many opportunities to actually date. His last on-off relationship with a friend of a friend from high school had involved little more than the occasional drunken grope and several dirty phone calls that left him hard and frustrated. And then, of course, there was that kiss in Taiwan. He’ll kill Zhou Mi for bringing him to that nightclub in the first place. 

So he thinks about how much each of these liaisons meant to him, what he got out of them, and Kyuhyun realises just what Jongwoon is asking. 

“Yes,” he says, resolution feeling him even as he allows the truth of it to overwhelm him. “Yes, you’re the first, hyung.” Kyuhyun blushes. “You’re the first in more ways than one, actually.”

Jongwoon chuckles, rich and dark. “I’m flattered.”

If he even thought for a moment Jongwoon was making fun of him, Kyuhyun would hang up the phone right away, but there’s something in the tone of Jongwoon’s voice that convinces him the other man is actually being sincere. Maybe Kyuhyun’s just got a lousy gut instinct.

“How long?” Jongwoon asks, after a comfortable silence passes between them. “When did you decide you wanted this? The two of us, I mean. I mean, it’s not like you just woke up one morning and came to the conclusion that you and I would be a good idea, right?”

“Actually,” Kyuhyun can’t help himself from grinning. “Actually that’s exactly how it happened. It was years ago, after that night you spent with me while I was in the hospital. You know, after the accident? You were so tired after your schedules, you fell asleep in the chair next to my bed. I was completely out of it because of the painkillers. Do you remember? The nurses didn’t really want to wake you up and tell you to go home. So when I opened my eyes I saw you slumped in that chair, just sleeping. Like you had been watching over me the whole time, hyung. Maybe I didn’t want you in the same way I do now… that’s been more of a gradual thing, but I knew then that that was how we were supposed to be.”

“What?” Jongwoon sounds confused. “In hospital?”

“No! I mean… it’s more like I can’t think of my life without you beside me. I — I just really want to be with you, and I really _want_ you, hyung.”

Kyuhyun winces. That was possibly the lamest thing he’s ever thought of. He hopes Jongwoon believes him. Telling the truth does that to you.

“Kyuhyun.” Jongwoon’s voice is so dark and dangerous now, raw and laced with desire. Kyuhyun can hear it dripping out of every syllable that leaves Jongwoon’s mouth. He imagines Jongwoon whispering filthy things to him as he pins Kyuhyun down and fucks him raw. “I swear if I had you here with me right now, I wouldn’t let you leave the bedroom for a week.”

The thought of Jongwoon being true to his word makes Kyuhyun moan out loud.

“Hyung,” he murmurs, as he reaches down to cup the bulge his cock makes through his sweatpants. 

There’s an intake of breath on the other end of the line, and Kyuhyun relishes the small amount of power that he still has over Jongwoon. It might not be very much, but it’s heady, knowing he can turn Jongwoon on with a few simple words.

“You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?” Jongwoon mutters, “I bet you’d love it if I had my dick between those lips of yours, Kyu. I bet you’d like it if I took your virginity that way, with you between my thighs giving me the best head in my life, just because I told you to.”

“Yes…” Kyuhyun groans, leaning back in his seat and shoving a hand into his underwear. He’s so hard it’s beginning to hurt. He thumbs the head of his cock, begins to pump himself even though there’s nothing to slick the glide of his palm and the skin of his hand catches against his overheated shaft. He needs the friction, needs relief.

He needs Jongwoon right now.

“Are you touching yourself?” Jongwoon asks suddenly. “Did I say you could?”

Stung, Kyuhyun takes his hand away. He wonders how Jongwoon knew. 

“As I recall, for the next eighteen hours, you’re supposed to be entirely at my command. That means no touching yourself, unless I give you permission. You don’t do it now, and you definitely don’t do it during the interval later on, do you understand?”

Kyuhyun makes a strangled noise of compliance. His cock twitches, and he tells himself that it isn’t because Jongwoon snarling that way sounds like sex personified. Definitely not.

“Good. The only time you get to come tonight is when my hand is on your dick, boy.”

Jongwoon chuckles. Kyuhyun thinks it sounds slightly sinister, despite it having the effect of getting him even more aroused. Shit, he’s going to have to think of some way of calming down before he gets to makeup, otherwise there’s going to be a lot of explaining to do, and his manager will probably start checking his phone for porn again.

“You remember the time we’re meeting later?” 

“Yes, hyung.” As if he could forget. Kyuhyun’s got it seared into his brain, along with half a dozen ways of asking Jongwoon not to be too gentle with him.

“Good. Have a great show, Kyu-ah. Make sure you remember what I told you.”

Jongwoon hangs up, and Kyuhyun groans and stares at the ceiling. Two solid hours of performing are all that stand between him and Jongwoon finally relieving him of his virginity. He’s waited for so many years already, it surely won’t be too difficult to wait a few more hours.

And yet, Kyuhyun already knows that the two hours ahead will be the slowest of his life. 

So much for being patient.


	2. Chapter 2

By some kind of minor miracle, Kyuhyun manages to get through the entire performance without losing his mind. He’s fairly certain this is due to some kind of divine intervention or something similarly supernatural because he feels as though he’s caught in some kind of time rip, where a flux in the space-time continuum means every second of the two hours that he’s on stage is stretched out for much longer than is necessary. But he sings all the songs he’s supposed to, and hits every note absolutely pitch-perfect, which is good because the audience demands nothing less than perfection from him. And he remembers most of the dance routines, too, which is a personal victory, especially when his mind is on other things, like how he’s going to beg Jongwoon not to be gentle with him later. 

The thought of Jongwoon being rough and the accompanying fantasy of being tied down with rope and at his lover’s mercy, hits him partway through the interval, while he’s swapping stories with a fellow cast-mate who wants some tips about how to break into the idol scene. Lust slams into him with all the subtlety of a runaway truck and Kyuhyun chokes on the apple juice he’s drinking, earning himself a hefty pounding on his back from his appalled manager, and several offers to find a doctor.

“I’m fine, really!” He chokes out, while trying to cross his legs and hide the evidence of his arousal. Doubtful faces all stare back at him and his manager looks like he’s on the verge of saying something along the lines of how Kyuhyun should try not doing things that might kill him. Thankfully the bell to alert the audience that the next act is about to start is sounded, and Kyuhyun’s minor dilemma is forgotten amidst the general rush to be ready before the curtain goes up.

The second half of the musical, thankfully, is non-eventful, except at one point close to the end, Kyuhyun is sure he’s going to pass out from sheer frustration at how slow everything seems to be going. He only has a little moment when the lead actors are all taking their individual bows and it comes to his turn. He walks out to the cheers of his adoring fans, faces the anonymous crowd who are all chanting his name in unison, and has a brief but powerful desire to just get the hell out of the theatre and leave everyone wondering where he’s gone. He manages to grit his teeth, though, turns on his mega-watt smile for the flashing cameras and the adulation of people he’ll never meet.

Then it’s over, and Kyuhyun doesn’t know how he got away from the theatre, and remembers even less about the car ride over to the hotel. He’s lost his manager at some point too, but that’s probably because the driver dropped him off at some fast food joint since Kyuhyun’s schedule is over for the day. Kyuhyun recalls slipping the driver an extra tip to get him to the hotel in half the time it normally takes and then another hefty tip on top of that to make sure he keeps his mouth shut.

The driver takes Kyuhyun’s money and wishes him luck, and the rest of the ride is a blur. Next thing Kyuhyun knows, he’s standing in front of the hotel room he booked an age ago, key in hand and his heart about to burst.

 _Journeys_ , Zhou Mi once pronounced, over too many cups of Chinese rice wine, _must begin with a single step._

 _Mimi, you sound like you’re full of shit,_ Kyuhyun had replied, but the observation wasn’t lost on him.

So Kyuhyun slides the key into the lock and opens the room door. Draws in a breath as he sees Jongwoon turn away from the vast windows overlooking Gangnam to meet his gaze.

Jongwoon is dressed simply in a dark t-shirt and jeans, having shucked his heavy jacket and baseball cap onto a chair by the oversized bed. His hair falls into his eyes and he sweeps it away with an impatient gesture as Kyuhyun creeps into the room, afraid that the man in front of him is some kind of illusion brought on by too many years of dreaming up increasingly ludicrous fantasies.

“You’re late,” Jongwoon snaps, pursing his lips slightly. “Get in here.”

He reaches out and pulls Kyuhyun’s duffel bag out of his unresisting hands. Kyuhyun opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes to mind, so he turns around and bolts the door behind him.

“Sorry,” Kyuhyun finally says, after recovering his wits. In his elaborate plan, Jongwoon was supposed to get here _after_ him, and he was going to have had at least a few minutes to himself to prepare for whatever happens later, but that choice has been taken out of his hands. Again. “The musical finished a little later than I thought it would.”

Jongwoon says nothing to this, so Kyuhyun busies himself with taking off his coat and scarf, hanging them up in the room’s little wardrobe. It seems sordid and cheap, losing his virginity in the anonymity of some corporate hotel where the only regular guests are business travellers, but Kyuhyun can’t think of anywhere else that would be practical right now. It’s not like they have the liberty to fly off to some tropical island resort and make love on white sandy beaches under palm trees. And anyway, Kyuhyun hates getting sunburn.

Kyuhyun shuts the wardrobe door with a resolute firmness and turns around to find himself face-to-face with Jongwoon.

“Um.” He says, because he can’t think of anything else.

“You were late by almost half an hour,” Jongwoon’s voice is low and dangerous. Kyuhyun feels like a deer being cornered by a hungry tiger. “I don’t think I gave you permission to be tardy, did I?”

Face burning, Kyuhyun shakes his head. Even though he’s the taller of the two of them, the way Jongwoon stares makes him feel as though Jongwoon is towering over him. 

Kyuhyun can’t move. He can’t break free of Jongwoon’s hot-eyed glare. His back presses up against the wardrobe, and it rattles as Jongwoon takes hold of his wrists and pins them to the cold surface of the mirrored door.

“So late… I wonder how I should punish you.” Just then, there is the faintest rumble of distant thunder from outside. For a moment Kyuhyun wonders if Jongwoon could control the weather with his voice. He dismisses the notion in a second, if only because Jongwoon is so, so close to him right now, and their lips are much too close together.

“As I recall,” Jongwoon goes on, sounding as dangerous and irresistible as any smooth-tongued incubus, “You promised me a kiss.”

Kyuhyun feels his eyes closing, struggles to keep them open as Jongwoon leans even closer to him, the heat between the two of them almost too intense to bear. Five years, he thinks, of half-thought out plans and almost-written confessions and too many late nights filled with yearning, and now Jongwoon is so near he can hardly breathe.

“I did promise you that,” he whimpers, as Jongwoon’s thumb digs into the tender flesh on the inside of his wrist.

“So do it, then. Kiss me.”

He does. Or he tries to. It seems Kyuhyun’s forgotten how to kiss at the most crucial moment in the history of kisses. He presses his lips chastely against Jongwoon’s, and then gets too amazed by the reality of it all that he forgets how to continue. 

But Jongwoon doesn’t rush him, or pull away and laugh. He kisses Kyuhyun back just as softly. They kiss again, while Kyuhyun’s brain is still trying to process what is going on. It’s soft and sweet, the kind of kiss you share with your first love. Jongwoon is gentle and patient, never asking for more than Kyuhyun gives, even though Kyuhyun is sure that he’s holding himself back while Kyuhyun sorts out his own issues. Then Kyuhyun decides to try and stop thinking about this like some kind of mathematical equation he has to balance and goes with his instincts instead. Desire finally wins out against Kyuhyun’s hesitance and insecurity. He moans as their next kiss quickly becomes a good deal more passionate.

Kyuhyun leans forward, opens his mouth, lets his tongue flick against the fullness of Jongwoon’s lips, allows his teeth to nip at Jongwoon’s bottom lip. As experiments go, it’s an astounding success. Jongwoon growls, low in his throat, returns the kiss with such fervour that Kyuhyun finds himself being shoved against the wardrobe door even harder, Jongwoon’s grip on his wrists holding him in place. Trapped between the coolness of the mirror, and the heat of Jongwoon’s body, Kyuhyun finally gives himself up to the tide of sensation threatening to overwhelm his senses. 

They don’t have to be quiet here. This isn’t the dors, and there aren’t any other people to overhear them, or managers to hide away from. This is just them, right here. He moans into Jongwoon’s mouth, desperate and wanton and _ready_ to be taken: Kyuhyun hasn’t had anyone else, because he hasn’t needed anyone else.

He gives himself over to Jongwoon completely, placing himself at the mercy of Jongwoon, to be used to slake the other man’s hunger. He lets Jongwoon lick the taste out of his mouth, feeling helpless to stop him, unwilling to let this ever end. Jongwoon’s kisses are angry; they’re forceful and demanding, taking everything Kyuhyun offers. Kyuhyun wonders who this anger is directed against. Perhaps it’s frustration at the fact that they’ve waited so long to take this final step together, or it could be Jongwoon helplessly raging at the fact that they only have six days left to share with each other, before he’ll be torn away and asked to put on a uniform and serve his country for two years.

But Kyuhyun thinks, _I don’t care how long it took_ , and, _I don’t start things to end them straight away_. So he kisses Jongwoon back, and tries to show how little both of these things concern him.

Then Jongwoon pulls away, finally releasing Kyuhyun’s wrists from his grip, rubbing his thumb over the red marks he’s left on Kyuhyun’s pale skin.

“Do you know what you do to me?” Jongwoon asks, when Kyuhyun slumps forward and rests his head on Jongwoon’s shoulder. “Do you even understand what it felt like to wonder whether you could ever think of me the way I thought of you?”

“Yes, hyung.” Kyuhyun’s reply is muffled by the fabric of Jongwoon’s shirt. He feels Jongwoon’s arms wrap themselves around his body and breathes in deeply, allowing Jongwoon’s scent of sweat and cologne to surround him. He tries not to think about regrets or possible endings right now, not when they’ve barely begun to explore the possibilities of finally being allowed to give in to their desires. 

Jongwoon slides a finger under Kyuhyun’s chin, raises it so he can look into Kyuhyun’s eyes. 

“Undress me,” Jongwoon says, his voice quiet, firm. “And then get your own clothes off. You’re going to wash me, boy.”

Kyuhyun’s mouth drops open. He scrambles to obey, his fingers shaking as he lifts Jongwoon’s t-shirt over his head. He tries not to stop and admire the sight of Jongwoon’s body finally revealed for his hungry gaze. Unlike at concerts, or in the dorms, there aren’t any screaming hordes or random members around to experience this. Just Kyuhyun.

He lifts his eyes to meet Jongwoon’s again, drops the t-shirt and forces himself not to give in to his impulse to taste every inch of Jongwoon’s uncovered torso with his lips. He’d love to bite and suck at Jongwoon’s nipples, to feel Jongwoon gasping and writhing underneath him, hissing and cursing at him in that low, almost feral voice. But he’s promised to be Jongwoon’s slave for a few hours yet, and Kyuhyun wants to show how good he can be at following Jongwoon’s orders.

Jongwoon’s jeans sit snug on his hips, and Kyuhyun licks his lips, imagining how they’d taste under his tongue. As if Jongwoon could hear his thoughts, a hand suddenly strokes through Kyuhyun’s hair, gripping at it lightly. It’s not enough to hurt, but it makes Kyuhyun pay attention.

“I said only to undress me,” Jongwoon reminds him. “So do what I tell you. Don’t make me put you across my knee.”

Kyuhyun shudders at the thought of Jongwoon spanking him with his bare palm, imagines the strike and impact and the heat under his skin that would follow. He whimpers, feels his cock stiffen almost painfully.

“Don’t get distracted.” Jongwoon snaps. He lets go of Kyuhyun’s hair and Kyuhyun manages to undo Jongwoon’s jeans and push them to the ground. Then he draws in a breath as he takes in the glorious sight of Jongwoon’s erection, barely restrained by a pair of black boxer-briefs. He can’t help himself; Kyuhyun moans and reaches out. He wants Jongwoon in his mouth, wants to make Jongwoon fall apart and come with his fingers gouging red marks into Kyuhyun’s shoulders.

But Jongwoon slaps his hand away, and Kyuhyun remembers that he isn’t the one running the show tonight. He promises himself there will be many other nights after this one where he will be in charge of the action and tucks the information safely away with a slight smile. He relieves Jongwoon of his last piece of clothing and stares openly.

Jongwoon is beautiful. All taut pale golden skin over smooth muscled arms and powerful thighs. He might not have Siwon’s sculpted abs or impeccable musculature, but Kyuhyun’s personally never been a fan of over-developed bodies. He wants nothing more than to bury his fingers in Jongwoon’s thick dark hair and hold on for dear life while Jongwoon fucks him. Jongwoon’s dick is just as gorgeous as the rest of him; it rises thick and luscious and already wet with pre-come, curving slightly against his body. Kyuhyun had his suspicions, of course, but he’s happy to note that Jongwoon’s cock is just as large as he’s been led to believe. 

“Your turn.” Jongwoon tells him, from somewhere above Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun swears his fingers have swelled to three times their normal size. He fumbles with the collar of his shirt and tries to draw it over his head, only managing to get it off after several tries, so that when it finally comes off, his carefully-styled hair is messed up and falling into his eyes. He blinks crossly and notices Jongwoon staring.

“What, hyung?”

Jongwoon doesn’t answer him straight away. Instead he comes closer, until Kyuhyun can feel Jongwoon’s breath ghosting over his skin and closes his eyes.

“Don’t stop,” Jongwoon murmurs, even as his fingers trace the ridges and puckered flesh of Kyuhyun’s scars. They are Kyuhyun’s only reminders of the accident which should have ended his life, but gave him the opportunity to shine even brighter and the perspective to appreciate what mattered in his life, other than the money and fame and the devotion of fans around the world.

It’s hard to continue, especially when Jongwoon is touching the most intimate parts of Kyuhyun’s body. Kissing the parts of him that he refuses to share with the rest of the world. Kyuhyun reaches for his belt buckle just as Jongwoon bends down and presses his lips against the largest scar on his chest.

He has to stop. Even though Jongwoon told him not to, and he has promised to obey every instruction Jongwoon gives tonight, the sheer immensity of what Jongwoon is doing takes Kyuhyun’s breath away and paralyses him. Jongwoon’s lips are soft and gentle, and the scar itself is such an ugly reminder of what could have been lost, that the contrast between the past and present is both awful and sublimely beautiful. Kyuhyun wants to cry.

“Oh,” he says instead. “Oh, God. Jongwoon…”

Another kiss silences him effectively. Jongwoon doesn’t linger, but his lips caress every area where skin was torn and then knitted back together, as if he’s memorising a roadmap of Kyuhyun’s injuries. Yet it doesn’t feel as though Jongwoon is violating Kyuhyun’s privacy, or drawing attention to his old wounds. It feels more as though Jongwoon is claiming every part of Kyuhyun’s body, accepting all its imperfections and past hurts and staking his claim to Kyuhyun’s future.

Jongwoon finds and kisses every scar that Kyuhyun would like to keep hidden, then helps him take off his trousers and underwear when Kyuhyun finds his hands are shaking too much.

“Perfect,” Jongwoon’s voice is reverential when he sees Kyuhyun naked for the first time. Kyuhyun blushes, feels as though every secret he keeps has been exposed. He looks away but Jongwoon stands and cups Kyuhyun’s face in his hands. “No. Look at me. I don’t care about any of it, Kyu. I care about _you_. Not the person you pretend to be for everyone else, OK? I don’t care about snarky Kyu, or maknae Kyu, or musical superstar Kyu. Just who you are with me, right now. Nothing else.”

They kiss again, and Kyuhyun wishes Jongwoon would just push him onto the bed and wipe away every bad memory of the past five years from his mind. He wants to apologise to Jongwoon for each moment that they could have had, if only they’d got their act together in time, wants to beg him to stay, just stay one more year, the army be damned. But life doesn’t work that way, and Kyuhyun’s a realist, so they kiss and kiss and kiss and Kyuhyun tries to remember what every single moment feels like, how Jongwoon tastes and the shape of his lips as they move against Kyuhyun’s.

Eventually Jongwoon drags himself away, pushes Kyuhyun into the bathroom.

“Shower,” he says, voice trembling just a little. Kyuhyun wobbles on shaky legs to the frosted glass cubicle and pushes the door open. He switches on the tap and lets the water come up to a comfortable temperature, conscious the whole time of Jongwoon watching him.

Soon enough, steam billows through the bathroom and the water pouring from the shower is hot enough to turn Kyuhyun’s outstretched hand faintly pink. He steps back from the spray and tugs at Jongwoon, manoeuvring him into the cubicle. This room is supposed to be a superior corporate suite, but the size of the bathroom leaves much to be desired. Kyuhyun squeezes himself in after Jongwoon and shuts the glass door.

The cubicle is large enough to hold both of them, but it’s still a bit of squeeze. Kyuhyun can’t help himself blushing as he notices how the confined space pushes them up against each other, tries not to be distracted by the way his cock brushes against the curve of Jongwoon’s spine as he reaches for the bottles of complimentary bodywash and shampoo. 

Jongwoon doesn’t do anything to stop Kyuhyun. He just stands and turns his face up to the cascade of water raining down upon them and closes his eyes as Kyuhyun tries to sort his armful of bottles out. It would be so easy, Kyuhyun thinks, to just drop everything and push Jongwoon against a wall and suck him off, but the thought of not fulfilling his promise to Jongwoon is horrifying, so he uncaps the shampoo bottle instead.

“Don’t open your eyes, hyung.” He warns, somewhat unnecessarily. Jongwoon doesn’t reply, but sighs happily when Kyuhyun starts washing his hair. Kyuhyun feels like he is stepping on eggshells, he’s so scared of scrubbing too hard, but Jongwoon shifts back against him and Kyuhyun’s suddenly much too preoccupied by the way his cock slides so easily between Jongwoon’s ass cheeks and how natural it feels. He stifles a groan, wonders if this is a test of his restraint.

“Watch yourself,” Jongwoon says, as if on cue. “Remember what I said, Kyu: any hint of you not holding up your end of this bargain and I’ll make it very unpleasant for you.”

His voice is like silk laid over a dagger’s point. Kyuhyun is pretty sure it shouldn’t turn him on this much, but it’s not as though he’s complaining. He concentrates on rinsing the shampoo out of Jongwoon’s hair, which is hard to do when Jongwoon’s back is towards him, so he turns Jongwoon around, feeling stupid, and makes sure every trace of shampoo is gone from Jongwoon’s hair.

The kiss is unexpected. Jongwoon pulls on Kyuhyun’s chin and forces their lips together. Taken by surprise, Kyuhyun lets his mouth be assaulted by Jongwoon’s tongue, unable to respond for a good few seconds. Then, confusingly, Jongwoon pulls away.

“You’re doing very well, boy,” Jongwoon tells him. “So continue.”

Huh. Kyuhyun vaguely entertains the notion of telling Jongwoon exactly what he thinks of him being such a fucking cocktease, but the glint in Jongwoon eyes tells him this would be a Very Bad Thing to do. Kyuhyun drops his head and scrambles for the washcloth he brought with him. Lifts it up to the spray and makes sure it is soaking before dumping on nearly half the bottle of bodywash and lathering it up.

“Do it on your knees.”

Again, that tone in Jongwoon’s voice which tells Kyuhyun that if he’s very good, he might be rewarded, and if he’s very bad, he won’t be allowed any treats at all. 

Kyuhyun wants so badly to be good for Jongwoon.

He drops to his knees. Runs the cloth against Jongwoon’s chest and belly, gasping as the tiles lining the floor of the shower dig into his skin. Kyuhyun reaches up and cleans as much of Jongwoon as he can reach, washing each finger of Jongwoon’s hands with slavish devotion before turning his attention to Jongwoon’s back and thighs. Kyuhyun instinctively knows he isn’t allowed to touch or taste now, so he has to bite his lip and drag the washcloth down the curve of Jongwoon’s back. He washes Jongwoon’s feet, sitting back on his heels and lifting each foot onto his knee, soaping it and then putting it back down.

Kyuhyun doesn’t dare look up at Jongwoon, too afraid of what he might see, and how it would make him fall apart and forget his promise to be obedient. And Cho Kyuhyun is not a quitter.

Next, Kyuhyun rinses out the cloth, tips on more soap and reaches between Jongwoon’s legs. He cups Jongwoon’s balls in the palm of his hand, marvelling at the heaviness of them, gently dabs at them with his cloth. A gasp from above him lets Kyuhyun know that this is permitted. Then he wraps the cloth around the shaft of Jongwoon’s dick, encasing it in the soft material. 

Even though Kyuhyun knows he shouldn’t, he slides his hand down Jongwoon’s dick and begins to pump him gently, knowing that the sensation will be heightened by the drag of the cloth against Jongwoon’s sensitised skin.

Jongwoon’s hand twists in his hair and pulls Kyuhyun up.

“That’s enough, Kyu.” Jongwoon’s voice is dark like a night without stars. “You’ve done well.”

“Yes, hyung.”

Jongwoon smiles, full of teeth. “Time for me to repay you.”

The way Jongwoon says it sends a wave of pure lust through Kyuhyun. “Hyung.”

“Shut up. Turn around for me.”

Unable to do anything else but obey, Kyuhyun does so, his heart beating so fast he swears it might burst at any second.

Jongwoon adjusts the shower so the water starts to pour down on them even harder, beating a steady rhythm on Kyuhyun’s skin. Kyuhyun hears Jongwoon rinse out the washcloth and squeeze out the last of the bodywash.

“You’re mine,” Jongwoon whispers, his lips suddenly next to Kyuhyun’s ear. “All mine, aren’t you, boy?”

He doesn’t wait for Kyuhyun’s groan of agreement, rubbing the washcloth over Kyuhyun’s body, washing him with quick, efficient movements. The only time Jongwoon lingers is when he gets to Kyuhyun’s ass and Kyuhyun is proud to note the slight hitch in Jongwoon’s breathing. The cloth caresses each cheek and Kyuhyun moans as Jongwoon’s fingers explore his crack, probe gently at his hole.

“Fuck,” Jongwoon’s voice is hoarse. “Fuck. You’re so fucking hot, Kyu. It’s like you’re burning up…”

Kyuhyun smirks to himself. He’s going to thank Siwon’s trainer for teaching him that exercise eons ago, the one that was supposed to work out Kyuhyun’s thighs to make them stronger. The fact that the exercises have also helped to firm up his ass was not an unwelcome side effect, and he’s grateful for it. Especially when Jongwoon suddenly slides an arm up Kyuhyun’s chest, embracing him from behind. The move presses their bodies together and, for the first time, Kyuhyun feels the naked heat of Jongwoon’s cock against his back, large and thick and wet.

“Want you!” He blurts out, desire overwhelming his better reason. “Please, just _fuck_ me, hyung.”

“Not yet.” Jongwoon’s reply is slightly muffled as he starts to explore the line of Kyuhyun’s shoulder blade with his tongue. “Not until you’re ready.”

Kyuhyun’s about to protest that he’s ready _now_ , but Jongwoon’s other hand suddenly snakes around his waist, dips down to take hold of his dick. Kyuhyun forgets the rest of his tirade, bites his lip and thrusts his hips forward into Jongwoon’s grip, only to be held in place as Jongwoon’s teeth dig into the skin of his back.

“Patience.”

Jongwoon’s hand is slick with shower gel and he begins to fist Kyuhyun’s dick with an expert grip, starting off with fast, firm strokes that have Kyuhyun wailing and scrambling for grip against the cool surface of the cubicle wall. Kyuhyun’s jerked off to so many fantasies, and he thinks that most of them involved showers or handjobs, but not the two combined. Jongwoon thumbs at the head of his cock, eliciting a low, keening wail from Kyuhyun.

“Such a slut for my hand, aren’t you?” He whispers, low and filthy in Kyuhyun’s ear. “You’d do anything for me right now, huh? If I asked you to suck me off right now I bet you’d get that beautiful mouth of yours around my dick faster than I could count to three.”

Kyuhyun can’t actually answer. Jongwoon’s hand flies faster along his cock, making obscene, wet noises that only add to the rising tide of pleasure spiralling through Kyuhyun’s body. Jongwoon’s other hand against his chest holds him back, anchoring him to Jongwoon, and yet the hand on Kyuhyun’s dick makes him arch forward into its grip, makes Kyuhyun howl and beg for more, please more.

“Oh my sweet little virgin.” This time Jongwoon’s voice nearly tips Kyuhyun over the edge, it’s laden with so much sex and promise. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll be seeing stars, baby.”

There isn’t anything he can say to that. Kyuhyun shuts his eyes and gives himself over to Jongwoon, pushing his hips more and more frantically against Jongwoon’s hand. Jongwoon’s strokes become faster, more deliberate and Kyuhyun can feel his body tense up as the orgasm begins to build in him. And Jongwoon is there, holding him secure, slowly driving him out of his mind with sheer pleasure.

Jongwoon kisses Kyuhyun greedily, his free hand pinches at Kyuhyun’s nipples as the hand on Kyuhyun’s dick draws him skilfully to the very brink of climax before reverting to longer, more languid strokes.

“Beg,” he orders. “Tell me how much you want this.”

If Kyuhyun had any reason left, he would feel affronted by such an obvious demand for his total submission. But he can’t think properly any longer.

“Please,” he gasps, gulping for air. “Oh, _please_ , hyung. Let me come. Let me come for you. Please.”

Jongwoon growls, and his hand yanks the pleasure from Kyuhyun’s body with one last stroke. Kyuhyun falls apart with a shout as he comes, his seed shooting out and splattering against the shower wall. Jongwoon is there with him, stroking Kyuhyun through the aftershocks of his orgasm and then holding him upright when he strength leaves him for a brief moment.

They stay like that for a while, listening to each other breathing and revelling in their newfound intimacy. Still the water beats down on them, the billowing steam turning everything around them slightly dreamlike. Eventually Jongwoon pulls away and switches off the tap. The silence is deafening. Kyuhyun can barely stand.

“Let’s get somewhere more comfortable.”

Jongwoon pushes him towards the bed in the middle of the room, which thankfully is not that far away. Kyuhyun doesn’t think his legs could support him for much longer and he collapses straight onto the mattress when Jongwoon pushes at his shoulder.

“Look at you,” Jongwoon whispers. There’s a towel in his hands and he uses it to dry them both off, brushing roughly at Kyuhyun’s nipples and sending aftershocks of pleasure coursing through his body as it comes down from his climax. “All mine.”

“Yes,” Kyuhyun’s never been so sure of anything else. “All yours, hyung.”

Jongwoon’s eyebrow lifts. He tosses the towel away, stalks over to the bed and climbs over Kyuhyun so that they’re looking into each other’s eyes. Not for the first time Kyuhyun marvels at how dark Jongwoon’s eyes are, and how staring into them is like being drawn into a whirlpool of desire. He fights to keep his head above water.

“Mine for tonight,” Jongwoon asks, “or…?”

“For as long as you want, hyung.” Kyuhyun looks deep into Jongwoon’s eyes, no longer fighting the undertow of his yearning. This is what he’s been wanting for so long. Then some devil in him decides to add, “As long as you can keep up with me.”

This provocation prompts a hungry kiss from Jongwoon. He takes hold of Kyuhyun’s wrists and pins them above his head as they exchange desperate, open-mouthed kisses that spare nothing and demand everything. Kyuhyun feels the heaviness of Jongwoon’s erection pressing into his thigh, and groans into Jongwoon’s mouth as lust surges through him, hot and urgent.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Jongwoon hisses, after they finally break apart for air. His lips are bruised and red and Kyuhyun wants to reach out and trace the outline of them with his fingers and tongue, but he still can’t move. Frustration roils in him, makes him arch his back off the bed so that their bodies align and touch. Kyuhyun feels the heat of Jongwoon’s skin, knows that it would be divine pressed tight against his. He mewls, cock stiffening again, as Jongwoon’s lips leave a burning trail of kisses along his chin, moving down to his neck and chest.

Jongwoon seems bent on driving Kyuhyun insane with his teasing. His tongue dances across Kyuhyun’s skin, teasing and tempting, savouring the taste of him. Jongwoon sucks red marks along Kyuhyun’s collarbone, taking care to ensure that each is vividly red before moving onto the next. Then Jongwoon frees Kyuhyun’s wrists, wraps his arms around Kyuhyun’s body as he kisses Kyuhyun with long, drugging kisses. Each time it feels as though Kyuhyun is about to drown, only to be held above water by Jongwoon hovering above him.

He whimpers. Clutches at Jongwoon and tries to touch him the same way, but Jongwoon sucks a particularly vicious mark into the sensitive skin just below Kyuhyun’s ear. 

“Not tonight.” If Kyuhyun was inclined to make fancy metaphorical statements, he’d say Jongwoon looks a little too much like a tiger stalking its prey. “Tonight I’m going to fuck you good, Cho Kyuhyun. I’m going to fuck you like you should be fucked and you are not going to do a damn thing to stop me having you the way I want, understand?”

Kyuhyun nods dumbly, emotion tightening his chest, even as desire batters away at his resolve to be good for Jongwoon.

Jongwoon growls, moves off Kyuhyun. He goes to the bedside table, picks up the black pouch resting there, weighs it in his hand before unzipping it. Kyuhyun cranes his neck to see, but Jongwoon’s body blocks his view, and he consoles himself by staring at the view of Jongwoon’s ass instead.

The sound of Jongwoon dropping the pouch back on the table jerks Kyuhyun back to reality. He looks up to see Jongwoon holding a bottle of lube and staring at him like Kyuhyun’s the main course at some gourmet dinner. Kyuhyun swallows, suddenly uncertain of himself in the face of Jongwoon’s hunger.

“Turn over,” Jongwoon tells him. His pulse thundering in his ears, Kyuhyun obeys. The prone position this puts him in excites him; he can’t see Jongwoon, but his body is now blatantly exposed for Jongwoon’s enjoyment, whatever form that might take. Kyuhyun moans into the bedspread as the head of his cock brushes against the starched white cotton of the bedspread, excitement turning him impatient. 

Jongwoon makes a noise of approval, drags a pillow over and positions it under Kyuhyun’s hips. With his ass even more prominently presented to Jongwoon’s gaze now, Kyuhyun’s breathing increases and he has to remind himself to stay calm and focused. 

There’s a clicking noise as Jongwoon flips the cap off the bottle, and a wetter sound as he squirts out a good amount. Kyuhyun wiggles around, wants to see what is going on, but a hand on his hip stops him.

Jongwoon presses a kiss to the base of Kyuhyun’s spine, licks at the depression between Kyuhyun’s backbone and tailbone. It makes Kyuhyun slightly dizzy with lust.

“Trust me?” Jongwoon asks, voice gone gentle, as though they’re in the recording studio again and Jongwoon is suggesting nothing more than a slight variation in the arrangement for the next track they’re going to sing.

“With my life, hyung.” The tension in Kyuhyun’s chest is enough to choke him, but he manages to croak out an answer, his lips moving against the bedsheets.

Jongwoon’s fingers are slick with the lube and cool against Kyuhyun’s overheated skin. Kyuhyun yelps as Jongwoon forces his legs further apart with one hand and explores with the other, his fingers leaving a trail of fire to Kyuhyun’s cock, which is pinned between his belly and the mattress, already hard again.

“Mine.” Jongwoon murmurs. He gives Kyuhyun’s cock a few strokes, caresses his balls with a gentle touch that makes Kyuhyun want to scream, and then his fingers brush against Kyuhyun’s asshole. They dance around the ring of muscle, teasing. Again and again, Jongwoon circles his fingers around Kyuhyun’s hole, as if he’s waiting for an invitation. Kyuhyun whines, tries to push back against Jongwoon, wants to yell at him to stop being such a fucking idiot, but he can’t move.

A click of the tongue. Jongwoon’s other hand slaps at Kyuhyun’s ass cheek, and the resulting burst of pain is quickly followed by a rush of heat that seems to engulf Kyuhyun’s entire body.

Jongwoon pushes one finger into Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun’s mouth opens soundlessly as he is breached for the first time. He’s tried it by himself, once in the dorms, but couldn’t make the angle work without his hand growing cramped and tired. He’d told himself that it was all overrated. But this, this is different. Jongwoon’s single finger doesn’t feel odd, or invasive. It doesn’t actually feel like _anything_ at all, but after working it in and out of his ass for a moment, Jongwoon adds another finger, slicking on more lube when Kyuhyun gasps at the stretch.

“Shh, relax for me, Kyu.” Jongwoon sounds as though he’s trying to control himself and barely succeeding. “Relax, OK? It’s… it’ll hurt if you’re too — Oh fuck, baby, you’re so tight…”

Kyuhyun whimpers as Jongwoon keeps on opening him up, fucking him with slow, gentle movements even as he whispers secrets in Kyuhyun’s ears. Telling him how much he’s thought about this, how long he’s wanted Kyuhyun.

“Every time I’m next to you while we’re onstage, Kyu. Each variety show taping when you sit too close to me. When you brought me that cake for my birthday and fed me a slice. Even when you’re being a dick and telling me not to bite my nails.” Jongwoon’s fingers keep working their black magic and Kyuhyun is hyperaware of the way it’s slowly beginning to have an effect on him. He likes the sensation and press of Jongwoon’s fingers inside him. Wants more. Feels as though every inch of his body is covered in liquid fire that burns him from the inside out.

“All those times I wanted you. Wanted to make you mine,” Jongwoon is saying, and it’s hard to pay attention because his voice and the wet sound of his fingers sliding in and out of Kyuhyun combine far too well. Kyuhyun feels caught between wanting to hear everything Jongwoon has to say and begging him for more. “You’re amazing, you know? That voice of yours… it makes me want to cry sometimes and then other times I want to screw you until we’re too tired to move.”

Kyuhyun is trying to concentrate on Jongwoon’s voice in his ear, but then Jongwoon twists his fingers _just so_ and it makes him jerk up off the bed. He turns his head and catches Jongwoon’s gaze over his shoulder, is amazed by how black his eyes are, at how much desperation and wanting is reflected back at him.

“Please, hyung,” he says, proud of the fact that his voice doesn’t sound all that shaky. “Please don’t tease me anymore, OK? Just do it. I can take whatever you give me.”

Jongwoon doesn’t say anything immediately. Instead he leans forward and brushes his lips against Kyuhyun’s forehead. Kyuhyun tries to catch his lips, but Jongwoon is too quick.

“You’re supposed to let me be in charge.” He reminds Kyuhyun. “What happened to my good little boy?”

Kyuhyun opens his mouth, is about to snap out something about karma and teasing and what the fuck, hyung. But Jongwoon smiles at him, and Kyuhyun forgets how to breathe for a second.

“Turn back around.”

“No,” Kyuhyun thinks this might be a really bad idea. Or a brilliant one. “Hyung… I — I want to watch when you do it.”

He thinks he might be imagining the gasp that comes from Jongwoon, but there is no doubting the effect his words have. Jongwoon groans, places a firm hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulders and pushes at him so Kyuhyun is flat on his back and whimpering as Jongwoon attacks his body with his fingers and teeth and tongue.

“Don’t tease me anymore, hyung,” Kyuhyun whispers, panting and trying to reach out and touch as much of Jongwoon as he can reach. It’s not easy, because Jongwoon moves over his body like quicksilver, hard to catch and even harder to pin down, but Kyuhyun tries anyway, nipping at a finger when it comes too close to his mouth, reaching down between them and grasping at Jongwoon’s dick, which is leaking pre-come onto their bellies and staining the sheets.

He goes too far. Jongwoon slaps Kyuhyun’s hand away with an effort, gets off Kyuhyun completely and stares down at him with a look that would command an instant apology if Kyuhyun wasn’t already aroused beyond reason. Instead, it makes Kyuhyun want Jongwoon even more, and he moans and takes hold of his own dick.

Screw being a good, obedient boy. Cho Kyuhyun doesn’t lay down without a fight.

Jongwoon’s eyes widen. His tongue darts out to taste his own lips as Kyuhyun starts to jerk himself off. They stare at each other.

“You only said I couldn’t make myself come, hyung,” Kyuhyun says challengingly. “I’m not going to, but I’m not going to sit here and wait for you for the rest of the night, either.”

There’s a beat and when Jongwoon speaks, his voice winds itself around Kyuhyun, mesmerising and dangerously sensual.

“Dirty little slut. Don’t you think I could just leave you here to deal with yourself if I thought you were being too impertinent?”

“Could you?” Kyuhyun returns, stroking himself as he watches Jongwoon watching him. “Could you really leave now, hyung? I can’t. I don’t think you can, either.”

Oh, Kyuhyun is sure Jongwoon knows he’s being played, but that’s the fun of it, because Jongwoon is playing along. He’ll do anything Jongwoon asks, of course, but not without a fight.

“You’re an arrogant prick, Kyu.” This time Jongwon stalks over to the bedside table again and fishes out a foil packet from the black pouch. “You should be taught some fucking manners.”

Kyuhyun draws in a breath. _Yes,_ he thinks, _yes this is exactly how it should be._

He lifts his eyes to meet Jongwoon’s, feels his mouth go dry.

“So teach me, hyung.”

Faster than he expects, Jongwoon is climbing back on top of him again. Kyuhyun puts up a token struggle, but stops when Jongwoon leans in for another searing kiss that burns away any resistance left in him. Everything outside this room ceases to matter, becomes unimportant. He wants to sob with frustration when Jongwoon pulls his lips away for a moment.

“Kyuhyun,” Jongwoon groans, as they press together, needy and urgent. “I want… shit, I was going to be so careful with you, baby. I was going to be slow and gentle —”

“But I don’t want you to be,” Kyuhyun interrupts. “I want you to use me however you want.”

They hold each other’s gazes for a moment, understanding and mutual desire flowing between them, and then Kyuhyun decides enough is enough. He leans over the side of the bed, scrambles to find the lube that Jongwoon tossed aside in his haste just now.

A tearing sound tells him Jongwoon has got the condom out of the packet, just as Kyuhyun’s fingers close over the bottle. He swings around, his heart thumping with anticipation, hands over the lube just as Jongwoon starts to put the condom on.

“Let me.” Kyuhyun nudges Jongwoon’s fingers out of the way, presses a kiss to the tip of Jongwoon’s cock, licks at the slit, marvelling at the salt-bitter taste of pre-come. A hiss and a muttered curse tell him this isn’t the time to start practising his blowjob technique. Not yet, anyway. He squirts lube onto his hands and rolls the condom on, revelling in performing such an intimate act for his lover. Jongwoon says nothing the whole time, but the way he stares at Kyuhyun, with a startled expression of mingled hunger and affection, speaks volumes.

His task finished, Kyuhyun lays back on the bed, trying not to give away just how nervous he is. He shifts the pillow under his hips, spreads his legs for Jongwoon.

“Kyuhyun.” The way Jongwoon says his name sounds like a prayer. Kyuhyun shivers, feeling only slightly blasphemous as the beat of his arousal becomes deafening. He watches as Jongwoon slicks himself up with more lubricant before moving onto the bed, his impatience choking him. He doesn’t (can’t) take his gaze away as Jongwoon lines himself up , one hand on Kyuhyun’s hip.

“Look at me.” Jongwoon orders.

Kyuhyun does. It all still feels so unreal. He watches as the head of Jongwoon’s cock pushes past the ring of muscle around his hole, then feels the stretch of it as Jongwoon slides into him, inch by agonising inch. Jongwoon’s dick is so much thicker than his fingers Kyuhyun almost forgets to breathe out as he watches Jongwoon. He forces himself to relax as much as he can, thinks of how good this is going to feel, of how long he’s been waiting for it.

Jongwoon is hot and hard and wet inside him, and Kyuhyun shifts to try and get used to the foreign feeling of being filled with another man’s cock as Jongwoon pushes the last few centimetres in. They are still for a moment, and then Jongwoon raises himself up, bracing his weight on his forearms so he can look at Kyuhyun’s face, his expression concerned.

“I’m fine, hyung.” Actually, Kyuhyun is more than fine, but he’d be pretty freaking fantastic if Jongwoon stopped worrying about breaking him and started fucking instead. Because while Jongwoon feels so good like this, Kyuhyun’s sure it will be mindblowing once they start moving. He reaches up, manages to take hold of one of Jongwoon’s hands, pushes their fingers together. “You’re not hurting me. I want this… I’ve been wanting it for _years_ … you can’t stop now.”

Jongwoon growls, his fingers locking onto Kyuhyun’s and the look in his eyes could incinerate a lesser man. But Kyuhyun holds on, gasps against Jongwoon’s mouth and Jongwoon pulls out nearly all the way before driving back into Kyuhyun’s body, opening up and stretching him out even more with each successive thrust. Any pain Kyuhyun feels quickly turns into a deep burn of pleasure, consuming his dazzled senses. His cock is catches against the sweat-slick skin of Jongwoon’s belly, providing enough friction to drive Kyuhyun mad with desperation, but not enough to satisfy his lust. Kyuhyun mewls, gripping onto Jongwoon’s hand for dear life, can’t look anywhere else but at Jongwoon’s face as the most wanton noises escape his mouth. He hears himself moan and gasp with each drive forward of Jongwoon’s hips, hears the catch in his breath as Jongwoon licks at the sweat running down his face.

“H-hyung…” Frantic for more contact, Kyuhyun tries to reach down and work his cock, but Jongwoon snarls and nips at his neck, then his collarbone, digging his teeth into the skin there as he fucks Kyuhyun with increasingly wilder movements. Kyuhyun feels like he might burst into flames at any second. Each thrust of Jongwoon’s hips seems more perfect than the last, every movement perfectly calculated to wring pleasure from the very core of Kyuhyun’s body.

Jongwoon dips his head, tongues at Kyuhyun’s scars, and the combined sensation and intimacy of the gesture almost shocks Kyuhyun into orgasm. Instead he manages to draw a breath, curse Jongwoon, and then beg him for more, please more. Nothing else in the world seems as important as this. 

Kyuhyun hears his own voice crack as Jongwoon angles his hips just so, and the next thrust has him squeezing Jongwoon’s fingers so hard he’s sure it must hurt, but Jongwoon says nothing. Instead his free hand wraps itself around Kyuhyun’s cock, tugging at it with the same expertly-timed strokes that made Kyuhyun come so hard just minutes earlier. Kyuhyun utters another exhortation, clutches at Jongwoon’s back with the hand that isn’t currently crushing Jongwoon’s fingers, trying to find a grip as Jongwoon begins to take him apart, fucking into him as Kyuhyun bucks against his hand.

Their mouths meet, hot and messy, teeth clashing together. Kyuhyun feels tension wrap itself around his spine and the scream begin to build in his throat. He kisses Jongwoon for all he’s worth, tries to convey the ridiculous amount of emotions flowing through him as they hurtle towards oblivion. The months and years of waiting all seem to blur together, coloured by the white-hot haze of Kyuhyun’s pleasure as it crests and threatens to obliterate him.

He’s close, so close. Kyuhyun feels the orgasm begin to tear through his body, promising sweet relief and yet being so frustratingly out of reach. He arches his back, tangles his hand in Jongwoon’s wet hair and holds on as his climax crashes down upon him with all the weight of a pounding sea.

Jongwoon is alongside him, the hand around Kyuhyun’s cock now covered in semen, the one holding onto Kyuhyun’s fingers holding them together. He shudders and groans through his own climax, whispers Kyuhyun’s name like a last incantation, snapping his hips and thrusting deep into Kyuhyun’s pliant body one final time.

They don’t let go of each other.

***

When Jongwoon gets up from the bed a full ten minutes later, Kyuhyun has a minor panic attack. 

“Hyung…” He starts, irrationally afraid that Jongwoon is going to leave him, that he might have thought this whole affair a mistake… A million possibilities rattle through his exhausted mind.

But Jongwoon is back before Kyuhyun can articulate any one of them, having disposed of the condom.

“I’m here.” He has another towel in his hand and uses it to clean them both up, lingering over the marks he’s made on Kyuhyun’s body. “God, you’re beautiful, Kyu. Even after the mess I made.”

Kyuhyun has no ready reply at hand, so he just tugs Jongwoon back down for another kiss, soft and sweet and full of the things that he wishes he could say. How unbelievably thankful he is for all of this. For Jongwoon. A deep sense of contentedness washes over him. Of all the ways he could have imagined his first time with Jongwoon, none of his fantasies have managed to live up to the reality of what has just transpired.

They break apart. Kyuhyun feels the exhaustion of the day begin to creep up on him, but he tries to keep his eyes open and focused on Jongwoon’s face. After all they’ve gone through to get to this point, he’s not intending on wasting one second of what little time they’ve got. But sleep is already dragging him under.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” Jongwon promises, drawing Kyuhyun close. “You did so well today.”

Kyuhyun manages a smile, tugs at a stubborn lock of Jongwoon’s hair.

“Your coupon expires in two hours, hyung.” His smile deepens. “I get to be on top then.”

***

The next morning, Kyuhyun makes sure he keeps his word, rolling on top of Jongwoon when they wake with a predatory grin on his face. 

Six days to go. Eight coupons to use up. So many possibilities opening up before them.

This, Kyuhyun thinks to himself, even as he straddles Jongwoon, is why he’s a fucking genius. 

He comes with Jongwoon’s name falling from his lips. Jongwoon is there with him, fingers locked onto Kyuhyun’s hips.

And Kyuhyun thinks all this most definitely beats any poetic confession on flowery notepaper.


End file.
